EMDR. Isn’t that the thing that erases your memory?
My friend did EMDR, it was like hypnosis!
EMDR *eye roll* that doesn’t work – there’s no evidence …
I heard you have to talk about all your trauma, and it makes everything worse.
Let me interject as an EMDR-certified therapist who has been on the receiving end of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). It does not erase your memory; it is not hypnosis (although that would be kinda cool), it is heavily research-based, and not re-traumatizing when done well. While the experience is not universally the same for people exploring it, there are definitely things to know. Let’s break the stigma and learn about it from someone who’s been through it firsthand.
EMDR is a powerful tool, and we should understand how it feels from the inside out. The impact on emotional, physical, and cognitive states can be surprising due to the unique role of eye movements during reprocessing. When you reach the re-processing stage of EMDR, you will be instructed to engage in bilateral stimulation, which can be through different methods:
Visual – eye movement
With your head still, you will be instructed to move your eyes side to side, following a virtual ball (if receiving virtual EMDR therapy). This method can also include having your eyes follow a light bar flashing from side to side. The pace is often rapid, at about 25 sets, and is the most commonly used form of bilateral stimulation.
Tactile – touch
With your hands crossed against your chest in a butterfly style, and you will tap your shoulders. You may also be instructed to hold pulsators in each hand that may vibrate alternately. This method is most helpful for individuals who find eye movements too stimulating, distracting, or uncomfortable, and some describe the tactile method as grounding.
Auditory – sound
You may wear headphones with a sound, buzz, music, or clicks that switch between the left and right sides. This method is helpful for individuals who are distracted by the visual stimulation.
These methods can also be paired and layered together to have a more effective and comfortable approach. As you are prompted to engage in the bilateral stimulation, you may be instructed to reflect on entire memories, the worst parts of the memories, bodily sensations, and thoughts. Your EMDR therapist will often encourage reflection after each set of bilateral stimulation during the reprocessing stage, and it is most helpful to be attuned with any and all sensations arising. It can be easy to become overwhelmed. For EMDR to be most effective, it’s important to keep a balance with being grounded both in the present and past, just enough to access past memories and remain regulated, a reminder that there is no active threat.
The mind has phenomenal plasticity that may shock you in this experience, as it will form rapid associations you might not otherwise make. While I experienced EMDR for the first time, I reflected on memories I had not thought about from several years ago when I lived them for the first time. The bilateral eye movements revealed specific details about these memories in a visual way, as if my mind were replaying a scene from the movie of my life. While this was how my brain worked through reprocessing, it may not be how everyone’s does. I found it stabilizing and healing. Alternatively, while this experience for me was pleasant and a neutral-to-positive reprocessing, there are times when the bilateral stimulation and reprocessing will result in negative emotions surfacing. Emotions can feel sudden, intense, and conflicting, which you and your EMDR therapist will navigate together. These emotions can filter in and out quickly due to the nature of bilateral stimulation. While intensity may feel high at times, this does not mean harm, nor is it a “bad” thing. Intensity is to be expected during reprocessing, and the rapport with your EMDR therapist will help you feel safe and grounded as you go there and return to the present.
For clients who are highly self-aware and intellectualize their experiences, prepare to FEEL. EMDR is rooted in body awareness through the trauma work, and as we know, the body keeps score. During the stages of EMDR, the body can re-surface sensations felt or associated with the trauma when you experienced it or shortly thereafter. The strange dream-like feel to EMDR may include flashes and symbolic imagery. The memories may not resurface the same way; instead, they could be reinterpretations or distortions of the memories. The sensations often present as emotional responses, such as tears, heavy breathing, tension in the shoulders, tightness in the throat, etc. It’s important to allow the brain to go where it goes and observe the sensations that follow, even when it’s uncomfortable. That same discomfort will be the throughline to healing.
The loss of control and unexpected nature of EMDR can be intimidating, some may even say scary. Trust the therapist and the process that there is an evidence-based method guiding you towards resolution. Post-session is where the work will continue. You may feel fatigued, emotionally sensitive, and your mind continues to process in your unconscious state during sleep. There is immense importance placed on self-care, specifically aftercare. Do your best to schedule your EMDR sessions after your workday, preferably on a weekend, and plan to engage in low-intensity soothing activities. This may include being in nature, fueling your body with nutrient-rich food, spending time with loved ones, watching a favorite show, or snuggling with a pet. Pre– and post-preparation around EMDR is essential to protecting the process; it ensures we are entering the trauma work with care, reducing the risk of dropout and improving outcomes.
EMDR is not a simple technique; it’s a unique and highly nuanced experience for each person who lives through it. If you’ve explored different types of relief, such as trauma-informed CBT, medication management, TMS, Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, and haven’t felt the relief you’re looking for, EMDR may be another path forward. Rather than approaching it with pressure or expectation, meet this inquiry with curiosity. Let yourself wonder, ask questions, and move at a pace your mind and body will allow. If you’ve read this far, something in you may feel drawn to this work, and that recognition alone is a part of you that is already beginning.
