Our experiences and biology can impact our sexuality as we age and experience life. The world around us is constantly changing and adapting; we are continually changing physically, emotionally, and mentally. It is natural that our sexuality would change as well. We may hope that our sexuality would stay the same as it is or as it was. Not everyone’s sexuality will drastically change. However, you may not always have the sexual endurance and desire that you once had.
Accepting how we change, our preferences, and what limitations may arise can impact how we view ourselves and navigate intimate and romantic relationships. Sexual identity and sexuality are valuable and important for all genders and sexual orientations. Sexuality is not the only thing that defines us, but it does shape a lot of our experiences, choices, and quality of life.
Aging and Changes in our Biology
All genders may face decline and changes in sexuality, changing their sexual experiences and sexuality. Biologically, our bodies have physical limitations that change how we experience intimacy as we age. Medical conditions and disabilities can also increase or decrease our sexual drive. Changes in hormones include decreased testosterone for individuals with male anatomy, which can have effects such as erectile dysfunction, delayed erection, changes in sensitivity, and changes in libido. Menopause is associated with decreases in hormones, including estrogen, androgen, and progesterone. These hormones can affect sexual functions, including changes in sexual experiences, which may result in delayed excitement, irritation, and decreased secretions. Women can have a further decline in sexual interest with age than men.
Depending on the person, these changes can cause emotional responses or be met with acceptance.
Medical conditions such as cancer, chronic illness, physical limitations, accidents, and changes in mobility can all impact our sexuality and sexual experience, changing how we once experienced sex. Stamina and strength can be affected, influencing how we can be intimate during these medical adversities. Some individuals who have medical conditions that require hormone replacement therapy may have increased sexual libido during treatment, which may cause an array of emotions.
There are sexual possibilities, such as medical procedures and guidance on how to maintain sexual activity, desire, and use sexual wisdom to address our changing bodies. Our quality of life can be impacted positively by these adjustments through medical, emotional, practical, physical, or other accommodations to maintain our sexuality.
Sexuality and Identity
Sexual fluidity refers to the changes and fluctuations of an individual’s sexual orientation. Sexual fluidity can include changes in attraction, labels, and behaviors. It can consist of being attracted to different genders at different points of your life, fluctuating how you label your own sexuality based on these changes, such as bisexual, lesbian, or pansexual. It can also include your interests and sexual behaviors, and how these fluctuate. Sexual fluidity is present throughout different demographics, but research has been limited based on funding and awareness.
Sexuality can often be how we attribute our personal identity and a factor in our relationships. When your sexuality changes, it can be confusing, but it can also provide clarity. Changes in sexuality and sexual fluidity include interest, openness, and curiosity about other genders and preferences, which can significantly impact quality of life.
Mindfulness and awareness of your body’s changes and preferences can enlighten and help navigate your feelings. Navigating changes can feel overwhelming. Sexual fluidity is a possibility of what may happen over time for an individual; introducing this possibility invites a conversation and builds support for people experiencing it. Stigma towards sexual fluidity can cause stress and impact mental health for people experiencing it. Education and support, creating safe spaces to ask questions and learn about sexual fluidity, sexual changes, and sexuality, are essential.
Sexuality Changes for Transgender Folks
Gender affirming care can significantly impact quality of life. Transgender individuals can receive a variety of hormonal or medical procedures to help navigate their gender affirming transition. Changes in sexual desire for those undergoing gender affirming care can occur. For transgender females, there may be a reduction in sexual drive, while for transgender males, the opposite may happen. When exploring gender affirming care, discuss your desire for sexual function with your provider. If you are worried about any potential changes in your sexuality, discuss this in a space you feel safe to do so. Many sexual changes are not trans specific; transgender individuals can still be influenced by sexual medicine that can apply to cisgender and transgender folks.
How to Manage these Changes
If you are concerned about your changes in sexual desire, physical limitations, or noticing changes in your sexual experiences, talking to your primary care provider can give you guidance on what may be a natural change or whether you need more information.
Societal standards and norms can make discussing sexuality, including changes, preferences, and fluidity, uncomfortable or even taboo. They can limit our conversations around these changes and make us feel isolated. More and more scientific research is being done on sexuality and how we are impacted by the changes we may all face. This information can be a lifeline through research, online support groups, chats, and blogs. We increasingly understand how our bodies and life experiences evolve and how to be more inclusive.
If you do not know how to handle changes to your sexuality, individual psychotherapy, couples therapy, or a support group can be beneficial in navigating sexuality. There is no right or wrong path to handle changes; however, doing what is best for your emotional health and finding support to navigate can sometimes require additional support. It is okay to ask questions, be curious, and seek out information to understand your sexuality changes. Navigating sexual dysfunction as an individual and as a couple, you may want further information and to understand how to communicate your needs to your partner. Please check out this blog for further information on sexual dysfunction.
