Life doesn’t always go as planned and often throws curveballs. Whether that’s disabilities, physical limitations, chronic illness, or injury, it can happen. When challenges alter our everyday lives, we have to ask ourselves, “What is my new normal?” Understanding how these changes affect our day-to-day perspective matters. These changes affect not only our physical state but also our mental health, relationships, independence, work, goals, and sense of self. Being adaptable isn’t a weakness, and not giving up is a strength as you learn your new way of life. Even when life looks different or is unknown, it can still be fulfilling and meaningful. Instead, it’s about finding deeper meaning in those moments.
Grieving The Life You Expected
Grief is a normal part of a major life change when it comes to chronic illness or physical limitation. Your life may look different than expected; realizing that is difficult and can take time. Grief isn’t limited to losing a person…
● Loss of independence
● Changes in career or school
● Change in social life
● Loss of physical abilities
● Changes in relationships
● Loss of sense of self
These are all major elements of someone’s life that can change in the blink of an eye. When going through these challenges, people may experience anger, sadness, loneliness, frustration, guilt, and uncertainty. There is no timeline or date for when these feelings will subside; instead, you may dive deep into why you feel this way and try to understand your emotions. Grieving shows you are adapting to this life change; instead of fighting it, you are navigating these emotions.
What Happens When My Identity Changes:
Ask yourself the question of “Is my identity connected to what I do physically with my body?” This could look like “I’m a hockey player” Or “I am a dancer”; that could also look like “I’m an independent person” or “I am very productive.” All of these are statements we may use to identify ourselves, but have you taken a deeper look into how these statements are associated with your physical being?
Having physical limitations or a chronic illness may challenge these previous identities. These identities may be challenged, but not lost; they may need to be redefined. This can feel like you are losing a part of yourself; it is a difficult feeling to unpack, especially when this identity is central to who you are. Ask yourself, “What about this identity shaped me, and how will it still show up in my life?” Finding new meaning in a longstanding identity is challenging; however, it will strengthen your ability to adapt and understand yourself more deeply.
Success- What Does That Look Like Now?:
Success is highly individualized: some people equate success with money, others with family, and some with health. Identifying what success means to you is the first step. The traditional concept of success tied to productivity and achievement may no longer feel healthy or realistic. Adapting your goals for success rather than abandoning them is key. Reaching these goals may look different now; however, that doesn’t mean we have to forget about them. Some ways to be more adaptable with your goals are…
● Changing the timeline associated with the goal
● Celebrating the smaller accomplishments that get you to your main goal
● Prioritizing quality of life over productivity
● Allowing rest to be a part of this process
Your worth is not determined by your “success,” but by how you prioritize yourself and your well-being while still achieving your goals.
Finding Meaning:
After being diagnosed with a chronic illness or physical limitation, how and why you find meaning may shift. This is the time to embrace this shift and understand what finding meaning in life resonates with you. Identifying the things/ people/ places that still have meaning to you…
● Family
● Friends
● Creativity
● Leaning
● Career
● Spirituality
● Community
Meaning doesn’t necessarily come from a big achievement but rather from the smaller interactions in life. Meaning is found in connection, stability, continuity, creativity, and being present in your daily life.
Hope vs. Reality:
Hope and reality can be very opposing views at times; how can we stay hopeful while still being realistic? This is an important question to ask yourself; we don’t want to create hope that isn’t realistic. This could lead to disappointment. What this could look like is “I may not know what the future holds, but I can take that next step” or “My life may look different now, but I can still find meaning.” To distinguish hope from toxic positivity, ground your hopes in reality. Navigating these two truths is difficult and can feel like opposing viewpoints. Staying grounded in your truths and reality will help your hopes feel fulfilling and meaningful.
Learning When to Ask For Help:
Accepting help and knowing when to ask for it is a difficult part of this process. For those diagnosed with a chronic illness and who value independence, this is a particularly hard task. Asking for help looks different for everyone and involves different systems.
● Family and Friends
● Healthcare Providers
● Therapists
● Support groups
● Community Organizations
Reframing the thought of asking for help from a weakness to self-advocacy. When you actively challenge this mindset, set healthy boundaries, and communicate with the people around you, it helps. Sometimes asking for help is really asking your loved ones for support. Support can be physical, emotional, and/or mental. This isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength.
When Therapy Plays a Role:
When going through a life transition due to chronic illness or physical limitations, adapting to change can be difficult to do alone. Finding a therapist to support and guide you through complex emotions such as frustration, grief, anger, and uncertainty can help you achieve your goals. This life change can feel overwhelming. A professional can help you explore…
● Identity change
● Grief and loss
● Personal Value
● Meaning of life
● Develop coping skills
● Challenge helpful thoughts
● Set realistic and meaningful goals.
● Improve communication and boundary setting.
● Reconnect with parts of yourself that still feel important.
Using a collaborative, integrative approach would provide individualized care that best addresses the client’s needs. Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a strengths-based approach, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy would ensure the client receives gold-standard care. Therapy isn’t forcing someone to “look on the bright side”; it’s shining a light on someone’s path to guide them toward change and growth.
Reconnection with Self:
When you hit those moments during this journey of feeling lost or not, consider asking yourself these questions.
● What parts of myself have remained constant despite these changes?
● What activities or relationships still bring me a sense of connection?
● What values are most important to me right now?
● What does a meaningful day look like for me today?
● What expectations am I holding onto that may no longer serve me?
● What is one small thing I can do this week that feels purposeful?
● Who can I lean on when things feel overwhelming?
These questions are a great and useful way to self-reflect, grow, and challenge yourself.
The journey following a diagnosis of Chronic illness and physical limitations is not linear, and there is no right or wrong, or should or should not. Everyone has their own story, emotions, frustrations, and values. Yes, your life may look different than you once thought, but finding meaning is still very possible. Lean on those who support you, and find confidence in believing in yourself.
